Turning Away Even Internal Wrath

A Man Separated on the Streets

“The moral of the bigger story? We don’t seek a wider embrace of the world only because we think it’s the right thing to do. We run after it because we know it’s the trap-door to the good life” — Shannan Martin, “Start With Hello and Other Simple Ways to Live as Neighbors”

“A SOFT answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” - Proverbs 15:1

It is easy to think we need to united around a specific vision of a better world or gather around us people who agree with our very specific vision. In that process we not only exclude others and their love and influence from our lives, but we also miss opportunities to connect at a deeper level. We all want a better world. We all want to be better citizens of that world. It does not matter if we disagree on how to get there - we have commonality in that simple fact that we all want a better world. That should be enough to gather, share and help. We may disagree vehemently on policies and beliefs, but the simple fact that we want a better world is all we need in common to connect at some level.

It is so hard, for me at least, to control my emotions when I disagree. I don’t often actually get angry, but I do very often feel like if I don’t make my voice heard, and heard soon, that I will somehow lose the battle. In almost every case where I feel this way there is no actual battle. By my jumping in and giving a less than soft answer I end up being the one turning things into a battle. Usually by accident.

I think we sometimes look at getting our voice heard as a way to combat the others around us who we see as being wrong, or full of wrath themselves, when we should be looking for a way to not stir up wrath inside our own minds. “Turneth away wrath,” is just as much an internal struggle as it is a struggle with those around us. I wonder if the non-soft answer given can cause us to separate from people who may have different points of view, or different histories, or even different opinions. When we don’t give room for others, it can cause us to be the reason for divisions, even while it feels like it is the “other” who is at fault. A soft answer in our internal dialogue is just as important as it is for our spoken words.