A JonYag Book Review - “Start with Hello”
Martin, Shannan. Start with Hello: And Other Simple Ways to Live as Neighbors. Grand Rapids, MI: Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group, 2022.
My rating: 5/5
Let’s just get it out there in the first sentence - I really enjoyed reading this book. I cried, I laughed, I was surprised and I found myself saying “duh” a few times. I heard about this book in an unusually way for me. I was listening to the “Bible Binge” podcast and the author was their guest. I was so impressed with her thoughts about being a neighbor, her very practical and down to earth examples and suggestions, and her authenticity that I decided to take a look at her book. I was not disappointed. I’m not a fan of any self-help books. Well, it’s more like I hate all self-help books. I have yet to come across one that has anything other than simple platitudes dressed up to look life changing ideas. They have seemed to be a waste of my time in my experience. I fully support others loving them, but they are not for me usually.
This book is not that. This is writing with very practical steps to take to be a better neighbor. Not just to the person who lives one floor above you, or next door to you. Ms. Matin has such a true belief in this that I felt like she was confirming or challenging my core beliefs and faith about what it even means to love your neighbor. I thought I was doing an okay job at least trying to love my neighbor but this book showed me not only how much more I could do - but more importantly how very simple it is to do. It may not be comfortable, but it is simple.
For Ms. Martin it starts (and even ends) with inviting people over for simple tacos. Not special or fancy tacos. Tacos with simple hamburger, beans out of a can, some salsa, and a few shells bought at the local grocery story. Cheap, simple, tasty, and anyone will love it.
You can’t understand other people’s stories, or know where they are coming from, or truly see them without sitting and talking. Talking over tacos is a great start. Do you need to agree with or like all the people around you? Of course not. But everyone loves tacos, and that dinner can go fast or slow, you have options and an easy escape hatch. Brilliant idea.
She shared many of her learnings as she worked to be a better neighbor. All of us can get caught in comparison which can make us hesitant to spend any time with others, but she reminds us, “their lives might be different from mine but aren’t necessarily better—and probably aren’t worse. Their bodies fail them. Their drains clog. Dinner burns so hard not even the skillet can be salvaged. They cry at night. They lose their way. Just like me. Just like us.”
Her chapter titles illustrate the direction she takes her discussion. She uses the mathematical greater-than symbol (“>”) to get you thinking about common hurdles to being a better neighbor, or just to simplify her ideas. A Few examples: “Windows > Mirrors”; “Listening > Talking”; “Open Door > Perfect Décor”; and “Practice > Preach.”
Her last chapter is titled “Empathy > Everything.” This equation captures the heart of this very practical book. Each chapter ends with a summary of simple, actionable, down to earth and authentic steps anyone can take to improve the world around us by simply being a better neighbor.
If you are looking for a way to improve on the second greatest commandment (to love you neighbor as yourself) you will not be disappointed with the ideas in this book.
“It’s time to liberate our dusty ideas about what friendship is and who it’s for. We’ve gotten so used to the idea of moving through life with just our family and a tight circle of friends that we’ve lost our ability to imagine a wider web of connection encompassing a gorgeous mess of layers and levels of closeness. What if neighbor is just another word for friend?” - Shannan Martin, “Chapter 10 Empathy > Everything”. Start with Hello: And Other Simple Ways to Live as Neighbors
