Change, Trying Again, and Books I Hate

Waves coming in over and over again at Jacksonville, FL

Something New - Book Abstract “Review’s”

Generally, I wouldn't say I like business books. When I say “generally,” I mean I hate them all the time. I try to be open-minded. Maybe there are a few out there that I would enjoy, but I haven’t run into them yet. I’m also not a huge fan of self-improvement books either. Business books are like the worst of the self-improvement ideas written with big corporate words to make them sound impressive. I hate nothing more than feeling required (or worse, being required) to read a “leadership” book due to the corporate world worshiping it. They are filled with the simplest ideas in the world laid out as world-changing concepts because some consultant “surveyed thousands of the most successful leaders in the world.” and this is what he found (it always seems to be a “he” who writes these). It gives me shivers.

I now only read book abstracts to help me through this process. If an abstract hits a chord with me, I might download the book. I’m not holding my breath for that, but who knows?? To help any other haters out there and save you time, I will distill the main idea from that abstract and share it with you. I will add some thinking from another, more creative source to help bring it together and try to improve the concept and make it useful.

“Change: How to Turn Uncertainty Into Opportunity”(The Abstract)

Here is the main idea I gathered from the book abstract. In most cases, this should be enough to help you through that business meeting small-talk conversation.

Five Possible Responses to Change Efforts

When people are presented with change, they have different reactions. These reactions may be based on personality, past experiences, the current situation, the people involved with the change, or countless other factors. Below are a few responses to change presented in the book, "Change, How to Turn Uncertainty Into Opportunity." Each of these seems to be presented with a slightly negative twist. The important takeaway that I see is to be aware of the responses so you or the team can be prepared to work with these people to help the process move forward.

• Move—Some people adapt excitedly and move quickly to get to the new state. This can be positive in many situations, but these people may become emotional or challenging to others if things don't move at their pace.

• Minimize - Some people will realize that change is required or happening regardless of their opinion. They then may try to minimize the amount of change that could happen. They may work against some of the changes and support others areas of change that feel more beneficial or easy to implement for themselves. This can work for or against the efforts. On the one hand, it may allow some to catch up to the new process and help catch any issues or unintended consequences along the way. The downside of having some react this way is that this could cause the change efforts to be incomplete and cause problems down the line.

• Wait—There are those who will take a wait-and-see attitude. In some cases, they have seen attempts (successful or unsuccessful) at change in the past, and they will wait to see if their effort is worth their time. Their reactive approach may cause missed opportunities.

• Resist—People in this category may go out of their way to doom the efforts as soon as possible. They may have intelligent reasons and ask good questions, but their efforts to find alternatives may undermine the efforts and morals of others.

• Quit—Some will want to end the change before it starts. They will work to doom the change efforts if they can. They may refuse to participate, hoping or expecting the change to fail, and wait it out.

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Let's explore this with a different approach. Consider the concept of change and those around us from a different angle, which may provide new insights and maybe even some enjoyment.

In life, change is a constant and an essential aspect of personal and professional growth. It can be challenging to embrace change, especially if it involves stepping out of our comfort zones or facing uncertainty. It is even more challenging when we fail again and again while trying to change. However, it's important to remember that failure is not the end but an opportunity to learn. By embracing the change process, we can achieve our goals and make positive progress toward growth and improvement.

To illustrate this concept and maybe show how substandard I feel the learning in most business books is, I will discuss the TV show “Dr. Who.”

Doctor Who Says To Try Again and Fail Together to Ultimately Succeed

I was asked a few months ago which Doctor from the show “Dr. Who” was my favorite, and I felt a bit strange because I’ve never really thought about it. I have been watching Dr. Who since early High School. I don’t want to say I’m old, but that is over 40 years. Honestly, in all that time, I have not thought about which is my favorite. I like some better than others, but I've never ranked them that way.

The thing about the Dr. Who show is that the stories are great. Sure, at times, they can seem silly on the surface, or as my wife has told me, too “noisy” (I’m not sure what that means, but she swears it is true). They may start off in a very ”cheap TV“ way. Don't get me started with the low-budget effects and costumes - usually, this low budget positively affects the show's overall effect on my imagination. That low budget is a bit of the show's charm, really. I'm trying to say that the story keeps you in once you get into the show or series. I think it is more than the simple plot of the story. For me, it is the relationship between the Doctor and his or her companions.

I see the show as more about relationships with companions. Each time a new person comes on the scene, at first, I think I will not like this new companion. Then, a few seasons later, when that relationship ends, I find myself in tears, thinking I will hate whoever is to come next. It feels like no one could possibly be as good. Eventually, I fall for the new one just like the last one—over and over, like a time loop. (See what I did there??)

Every once in a while there is a speech given by the Doctor or a scene I replay a few times because it is touching or inspiring for me. In the last episode of Season 13 (the modern series), she (the Doctor regenerated as a female this time around) gave one of those speeches. It was the holiday episode. The short version of the episode‘s story is that they were stuck in a time loop and killed in each short loop. The loop started at 8 minutes long and lost a minute each time. Each time, they started over, like in the movie “Groundhog Day”, but since the loop was shorter, they had less time to get out of trouble and stay alive. No spoilers, so I won’t tell you more, but I want to share her rather quick “speech” she gave as she figured out what was happening and how to stay alive permanently.

It was a particularly frustrating time for the humans involved. Her regular companions and two other people they had just met were there. The humans had no idea what was happening other than that they were trying to stay alive. They were all about to give up when the Doctor told them this (emphasis added by me to try to catch where it was emphasized on the show):

“... because something seems impossible. We try, it doesn't work, we try again. We learn, we improve, we fail again, but better, we make friends, we learn to trust, we help each other. We get it wrong again. We improve together, then ultimately succeed. Because this is what being alive is. And it's better than the alternative. So come on, you brilliant humans. We go again and we win. Deal?

What a great life philosophy to have. It’s a great way to work in business, life, friendships, family, and anything else. Fail, learn, and try again. Very agile. The more you fail the better you will be. It’s a great way to think about life and personal improvement. It’s a great way to think about marriage relationships. Long-term friendships. What about personal repentance? Self-improvement? It's a perfect way to go at it. It’s a great way for a team, a charity, or a church congregation to think about their work together. It is a great way to think about life.

The vital part of what she said is that we do it together. We learn together. We become friends in the process. We get closer in the process.

• Try. Even better, try TOGETHER.

• If it doesn’t work, learn, improve, and try again.

• Fail again, get it wrong. But this time you did better. You improved. You learned.

• Make friends while doing this. Help each other. Learn TOGETHER. We all have different skills and experiences. We will improve faster together.

• Go at it again.

• Maybe get it wrong again. Learn even more.

• Ultimately succeed - no matter how long it takes. Succeed TOGETHER.

Seeing things like this happen over time probably makes me love the relationships on the show more and more. They grow closer while trying and failing over and over.

Summary:

If you want, you can use the list in the abstract above to help you understand each other. Understanding those personality types may be helpful. But don’t be so judgy. We all need each other and can make anything happen as we try it together.