Practice Is a Form of Repentance
Falling down is normal. Trying again is less so.
It is easy to think of practice as something we do for only certain skills in life. We practice playing musical instruments, we practice athletic team sports, we practice when we learn how to play a new game. Practice should be much more than that, we just don't usually use that word in other areas of life. Working to change or improve is practice, or it should be. Want to have more control over your temper? Practice. Want to be more compassionate? Practice. Want to be a better parent? Practice. Want to take better naps? Practice. Want to lose weight? Practice. The choice is yours, but practice is how we improve. It is also a better lens to see life through that can help remove all the self-judgment that can be so painful at times.
What I love about yoga is that it is a "practice." You don't play yoga. You don't do yoga, you have a yoga practice. You don't compete at yoga. There is no end point. There is no level of completion. You don't finish. You can't become perfect and be done. You practice over and over again throughout life to keep getting better. I have learned to try to see all things in life that way.
There are so many things in life that are easy to see as linear or as a binary state of being - either we are or are not something. We define ourselves in unhealthy ways. We look at ourselves as good or bad based on if we are doing something or we are not. That's a trap. We all fall into it, but it is a trap. I'm healthy or I'm not. I'm a good neighbor or I'm not. I'm a good parent or I'm not. All of these are not WHO we are, they are things that just take practice. Everything takes practice. There will be improvements, there will be failures. Each day is another chance to practice. This way of thinking removes the judgements we place on ourselves and allows us time to work at it. If you're like me, you may need lots and lots of time.
I recently wrote about a book I read by Shannan Martin. She talks about becoming a neighbor and how it takes practice. In her book "Start with Hello," she talks about becoming closer to others as we become better neighbors and how the path to that closeness is a mess for most of us. Most things are a mess for us. That is why it takes practice. She says it "means bumbling about and trying again on the other side of that closed door." That "bumbling about" is what we do with all skills - especially at first. We will not get it right every time. Becoming a friend like other things takes practice. We will become "steadier and more comfortable over time."
Practice could be seen as a form of repentance. All (or most) religions have some form or other of the concept of repentance or of making amends for things we have done wrong. It is always more than just being sorry or feeling sorrow for wrongdoing - or at least it should be more. It should be a personal commitment to personal change and becoming a more responsible human in whatever belief system you have. We can get better every day and remove the things that are holding us back. We should work each day to improve. We will all fail over and over again, but keep trying. Improvement and changes will not always go smooth and easy. For some people (like me) it may rarely go smooth and easy. That is what practice is all about. You will make a fool of yourself. You may say the wrong thing, you will miss opportunities. Each day is a new day to try again and learn.
Don't be harsh with yourself. It is all just practice.
